(From the cute Oh Joy! Collection at Target)
There's been LOTS to celebrate in the Turner house this week. On Tuesday, I presented my final project for my class this semester which was super fun. It was about Amelia Bedelia (if you're wondering how to have the most fun in graduate school, it is in a children's literature program). Tuesday was also Peter's birthday! Since I was in class until later and we are still kitchen-less, we got fancy pizza from Max and Leo's and a frozen yogurt cake from Cabots - both dangerously delicious.
Yesterday morning, I furiously painted the kitchen out of irrational fear that the next time I came home it would be with a baby after my external version appointment. I know that sounds like a weird priority, given the fact that the nursery room floor is still covered with newspapers and extra trim from painting stuff, but I can't make sense of the inner-workers of my brain, either. Anyways, that's done, and it looks good.
Thennnnn the appointment. I had been so nervous for it, wondering back and forth what the right decision was. Where was my mother's intuition? But I did it, and I'm so happy I did. The baby flipped right around on the first try, and Peter and I are beaming with pride at his or her excellent ability to follow directions (when given a hearty nudge).
I feel like we've been given this wonderful gift of waiting. The baby can take it's time, finish up cooking, and come to meet us when it's ready, and I'm so thankful. When I was awake at 4:30 this morning, though, I kept wondering how I would have felt if it hadn't worked. Would I believe I'd made the wrong decision? Hurt the baby and myself unnecessarily? I hope not, but it's hard to say.
I had to sign a medical release form on behalf of the baby, and there was a slot for relationship to patient where I had to write "mother." My own mother asked me the other day if I could believe I would a be mom so soon, and I said, "No!" This seems to seriously call into question my intellect, since all physical signs point very strongly to yes, and yet still I can't entirely shake the feeling of disbelief. But making this one decision about trying to flip the baby around - the first of millions of decisions large and small that I won't be able to predict the outcome of - felt like a tiny step toward the reality of motherhood.
So, when Peter and I went to the fantastic new Alden & Harlow last night for a slightly belated birthday celebration, we were also able to toast to successfully navigating this first minor hurdle of parenthood together in tact. Here's to many, many more.