- Graham Greene
The tears came for the first time two weeks ago. I had actually started to wonder if they would come at all because I'm so excited about our upcoming move. But we were hurrying out to meet someone to pick up a giant pile of moving boxes, and it made me impossibly sad to think about packing our things away.
Instead of walking out the door, I sat on the bed. I started crying and told Peter we'd never have any friends in Boston, and why are we doing this again? I tend to fall down hard on the friend excuse, though I know we already have friends there, and family, too. But it felt like a tangible thing to be upset about, versus the actual fuzzy conflicted sadness I have about leaving our life here. Our life that is so lovely, it feels very bratty to want to turn away from it for the hope of something better.
The thing is though, the hope is that it will be better for us, not better better.
This weekend we are packing up the rest of the apartment, and maybe trying to fit in one or two more things from the list. But there has been so much happiness here, I think more tears are coming.